1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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