Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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