is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
