Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Dear god my vagina.
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