Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
