The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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