In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
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I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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