goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
