I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
