also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
