Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
