Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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