The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
