Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
