we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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