just tell him i said nine months
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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