I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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