Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You're so nebulous sometimes
It was confusing and full of hummus
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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