piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
