she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
