What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize