Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You pole danced in your parka.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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