I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
