i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
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