Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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