No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
