My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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