So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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