He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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