It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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