Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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