i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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