We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
