You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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