i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
