I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
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i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
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New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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