somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Are my feet made of real feet?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
