he was CRYING into my vagina
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Someone came in the potted fern
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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