You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
