the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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