I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
