Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
