I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize