Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
