I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
