Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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