I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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