hotel room ftw
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
