Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
