a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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