I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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