if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
