I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
