There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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