just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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