were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
