I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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