my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
