Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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